Babe, I know that “sorry” is just a word, so I am showing you with my actions that I know I was wrong. It hurts me to know that I have hurt the most amazing person, the person that has been there by me through so much in my lifetime. I wish I had some fancy words to erase the hurt. I wish there was a way for you to see inside my heart and know that mine is broken too. I wish I knew a way to turn back time and redo things, but i don’t. What I do know is that with God, prayer, forgiveness, hope, then love will prevail. My life has been so crazy. It never went like I planned. I seem to have made so many mistakes along the way. You know them, you were around for most of them, or have at least heard the stories. When you responded to my friend request back 4 years ago, it made my day. I had missed you so much. Then when we talked some and I realized that you might have feelings for me, oh my, it made my heart soar. I know I am not always easy to love, and yet, you have stood by me through the good and bad. Thank you! Thank you for praying for me, thank you for being so kind. Thank you for never being jealous, or demanding, or controlling. You have shown me that love can be two sided. That it can be fun, that your best friend can also be your partner. I know all that sounds silly, but after the relationships I have had, it is so eye opening to me. Anyway, I am so sorry I took all this forgranted. I am so sorry that I was wrapped in my own head with my hurts and fears, and anxiety and family issues and work and financial worries that I just put us (you) to the back. That was so wrong. so so so so wrong. I put the person that is my future, the man that loves me more than any man has ever loved me, and I just put you on a shelf for when I had time. You deserve so much more, and I will show you that. Please know that I am not perfect, nor will I ever be, but I try not to ever make the same mistakes twice so take comfort in knowing that my eyes have been opened, and I will not go back to that place again. You deserve better, I deserve better. I make time for everyone in my family and my work, and now I need to make time for my baby, and my self. I deserve to be happy, and I deserve a future with the man i love.